The Anniversary that Slipped by……..

December 12 would have been the day I heard I was cancer free four years ago. It was a day filled with mundane things like carpooling, sports practice, homework, taking the car in for service, and errands. This year, it slipped by unnoticed. There were quiet moments while I was in the car or sitting in the house when I felt content, but there was no big memory that brought me back to that feeling of complete and utter euphoria – almost disbelief – when I read that message from my doctor about being cancer free four years ago.

Apparently, this was the year of non-celebration. Since then, I have slipped into a space where I question why I am doing things. Not the things I have to do, but the things I choose to do. Why am I volunteering for the job I don’t really feel like doing? Why did I say yes to having coffee with that friend when I didn’t really want to? I am running around making sure everyone else’s needs are taken care of while not stopping to think about my own. I just keep adding things to my To Do list without thinking about if those items are worth my time or if someone else is just taking advantage of my generosity and Can Do Attitude. It feels like I am uncomfortable all the time, wondering how I am fitting into the life I created for myself. It’s almost like I am in a play I wrote, but have no idea what character I am. I am saying all my lines, I am hitting my marks, but I have no idea why I am on stage.

In between moments of chaos, I have been mindlessly scrolling social media and news outlets for what adds up to hours. While not reading or absorbing anything, I am just keeping my fingers and eyes busy. But there is nothing registering. I am not engaging with anything beyond the surface headline. It’s like I want to escape but I don’t have anywhere to go.

Escapism is defined as the seeking of diversion away from unpleasant activities of daily life. While I do not have an unpleasant life, I want to shake things up, to do something different. I feel like I want to be anywhere but where I am. And since I can’t really figure out what I want to do, I choose to escape. Sometimes I write to escape, but lately I have been feeling uninspired. This time, I chose to read words rather than write them.  So, this season, this dreary, cold, dark, wet season, I am escaping. Not to a warm beach. But to places of fantasy, historical times, and unquestionably unreal romances. I am escaping into books. I am practicing literary escapism.

Over the past month, I have read many books. Here are a few I have enjoyed, for varying reasons.

The Statistical Probability of Love at First Sight by Jennifer E. Smith

I found out about this book because I saw an advertisement on Netflix for the movie. I don’t know about you, but I ALWAYS read the book before I watch the movie. (And the book is always better). I rated it 5/5 stars because it was witty and clever and took me to London (a city I love). It was, of course, a romance novel, so there was a bit of an unrealistic ending to it, but it kept me turning the pages.

The River (Hatchet sequel) by Gary Paulsen

I read this book along with my son, who liked Hatchet when he read it at school. It was definitely not as good as the first one but was pretty good for a sequel.

The Personal Librarian by Marie Benedict and Victoria Christopher Murray

I unexpectedly loved this book. I had no idea that J.P. Morgan had such an extensive book collection or that he had a personal librarian. I will not ruin any small details for you, but I could not wait until the end of the story so I could read about what parts of the narrative were based on actual events and diaries/papers of the librarian and J.P. Morgan. This is a must-read for people who like historical fiction.

The Last Bookshop in London by Madeline Martin

Of all the books on this list, this is the one I stayed up too late reading. Every night. It is the story of a bookshop that tried to survive the bombing of London during the Blitz. I cannot recommend this one enough. Buy it today.

Meet Me at the Lake by Carley Fortune

I do love romance, and this one did not have the usual equation of Girl Leaves Job + Goes Home + Meets Boy + General Personality Conflict = Happily Ever After. This one had changes of timeline, an unexpected development but a slightly obvious ending. This one, I feel, will eventually be made into a movie.

Zane and the Hurricane: A Story of Katrina by Rodman Philbrick

I was pleasantly surprised by this book about a boy’s journey after Hurricane Katrina. I did think to myself, “why on earth would anyone write a young adult book about such a devastating event?” It was, however, well written, and really wanted to see how the main character and his dog faired on his long journey to find safety.

The Paris Agent by Kelly Rimmer

I like what Kelly Rimmer offers in terms of her story structure. She often has strong female characters who are looking for an answer to a question that takes us back to a conflict (like World War II) in a different country (France). I am, quite honestly, a sucker for World War II novels.

Linked by Gordon Korman

My son’s fourth grade class is reading this book out loud. I am shocked that the idea of the KKK is introduced at such an early age, and yet, looking around at the society we are living it, am glad they are introducing it in school so we can have a conversation about it at home. If you do not know about this, I implore you to check it out. It is well written and is from multiple perspectives. There is a lot to talk about.

I always enjoy a light read from the authors Debbie Macomber, Sheryl Woods and Elin Hilderbrand. However, next on my list to read are several books that are a bit out of my normal genres. The first is called Twelve Days in Ozerki by Ruth Daniloff, which is a novel set in Soviet Russia. For those also interested in history, you can try A Southern Madam and Her Man by David B. Dearinger. I was also just perusing a website that suggested Everyone But Myself, a memoir about anxiety by Julie Chavez.

Brick and Mortar Books is my preferred local bookstore in Redmond, Washington, but when I order online, I do it at Bookshop.org. This is a wonderful place to peruse and purchase books and it supports independent bookstores all over the country. The review sections are extremely helpful when I am not sure if I want to add another book to the stack on my nightstand. (Who are we kidding, I do want to add another book to that pile).

As I type this and listen to the pinecones hit my windows (I am not going outside today, it’s a record cold 17 degrees Fahrenheit in the Pacific Northwest), I know those noises will soon fade away to the people and places in front of me as I crack the spine in the next book I open….

Where will you escape to?