It’s that time of year when teachers are on edge with state assessments being scheduled, grades being due, retirement and end of school parties being planned. It’s that time of year when parents run around buying end of year gifts, driving soccer team or baseball team parties, and art showcases. It’s a time when people get antsy, wanting to change their furniture or buy a new wardrobe. It’s a time for neighborhood garage sales so people can recycle their baggage (literally and figuratively, perhaps). It’s a time of year when we say out loud, “I will consciously not be this busy next year at this time.” And alas, it happens every year. Literally everyone I talk to (if I can even get them on the phone) is strung out on their task lists. (In fact, I just got a text from someone that read: “I will reply, just not now.”) Teachers look like zombies with dark circles and less pep in their step, just trying to get through the next lesson until the bell rings. Patience is wearing thin on parents. It’s just a busy time of year getting to summer.
Walking home from dropping a kid off at school, I got to thinking about how our society wants us to strive for more. Do more. Have more. If you aren’t doing more, you are lazy. If you aren’t signing up for more, then what are you doing with your time? If I didn’t sign up to be a room parent AND art docent AND library helper, what would I have done with my free time? Knowing me, I would have filled it up with activities that bettered other people’s lives, rather than focusing on my own life (like my house seriously needs to be cleaned and de-cluttered and the garden could really use a weeding).
Even as I type this, I realize I don’t breathe as much as I should. When I do stop and take three deep breaths, they are slower, and I feel much better afterwards. So why don’t we add this to our list – and no I don’t mean, put “take yoga class” or “install mindfulness app” on our phone reminders. I mean, take the time to slow down and process the events that happen in our lives.
For example, my daughter just turned 12. We were so busy making sure that she had quality time with her two close friends then had videocalls with her relatives to celebrate her that I never got the chance to process the day. The memory that she made me a mother, that her existence has changed the course of my life. Maybe that’s a bit dramatic, but I feel like we did all these things to make sure the event was celebrated, documented, then moved on to the week of finals, class parties, yearbook distributions, etc., etc., etc. I didn’t get to sit next to her and just be next to her. Her and me. Me and her. Us.
This is why I am making next year (starting September) the year of Great Mediocrity. See, with greatness comes expectations of more greatness because our society is never satisfied to just let people be. With mediocrity comes fewer expectations. And with fewer expectations, I can take a few moments to just be me (whoever that is anymore) and maybe rediscover things that I like to do for me. Not in a selfish way, as is often depicted in the media, but in a way that fills my soul up so I can be a better person for the people around me. I will need this reminder when the signups for class parent and art docent and volunteer come around. Maybe I can decide to do ONE thing. But it has to be done in a mediocre way.
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