I am not going to lie - I thought I would be back to "normal" at six weeks out of surgery. Because I am in great healthy (well, minus the pretend cancer thing). Turns out I have tried to reach up with my right arm and I can't do it. It doesn't work. So my plans to just get back to the gym, my regular classes, my regular life - dashed. Dashed plans. Dashed dreams. Feeling depressed.
It is uncomfortable to sleep, still. Something is just not right. The neck angle, the soreness of my arm all the way down, the tenderness of the incision sites, the zinging of the nerves that are starting to grow back. I will definitely not be back to normal for a very, very (very?) long time. I guess I just need to focus on being cancer free.
I am surprised that no doctor suggested physical therapy for me. I have researched some stretches to do so I can start feeling like I am making progress. But none of it will be quick enough for me. I need to get back to strong and healthy before we do this all over again in December. If I don't, then I won't have use of either of my arms at all. It feels like I am stuck in another limbo. A preparation limbo? A waiting limbo? A stuck limbo? At this point, it seems hard to move on, but also I am so desperate to have it behind me.
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